Disappointment is hanging over me like a cloud today. I did not expect to get accepted into that art show…but I was also really hoping I would. So when the email came in last night and it was a “you have not be chosen” letter it was a slam. It came on the heels of a not chosen email last week for an event I really thought I had a shot at.
Rejection, let’s call those emails what they are…rejections. Rejection cuts like a knife. When we expect it or try to prepare ourselves for it, we think when it comes in I’ll be fine. Then it comes and we are reminded we are not made of stone. I know that I am not what they are looking for, or that one qualification is not quite met so I should know quickly that they don’t want me…just a few of the thoughts I tell myself to “prepare” for the rejection to come. Then it comes in and BAM slammed. Because at our core we believe in fairy tales and wishes come true.
Maybe I am alone in this thought. I’m ok with that, but I wanted to let you know in case you are feeling alone in your rejections and “not chosen”ness, that I am right here with you. I spent two years looking for employment that met my needs and my family’s needs. Two years getting form rejection emails or no acknowledgement at all. Two years applying for jobs just to say I was putting in applications. Positions I could have done in my sleep. Yet, still the rejections came. I am working through the damage that was done. Because God loves me too much to leave me damaged. Working through it can be hard too. However, I am excited to see what is on the other side of this season. Until I get to the over side I am going to press in and get out of this season all that I can.
I have learned that getting the answer we want to the prayers we are praying does not always turn out how we picture them. I am learning that it is ok to not be ok. I am allowed to struggle with moments in my season. Some days are easier to walk through. Other days, like today, are harder. Is it just not getting a place at an art show for my small business…no there are other things on my mind. But I am going to tell this disappointment where it can go. I am going to read and reread this verse until it sinks deep into my soul and strengthens me…But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalms 1:2-3 NIV
That’s what I need today friends, to focus my delight, my mind, my heart back on the Lord. He has a plan that I cannot even imagine and so I am going to wait right here with my coffee. He never leaves us, never forsakes us and never stops loving us. Even on days we are stuck in our feelings. He loves us too much to leave us there.
We can do this together. We were created for relationship. Just remember big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.
Big Love, Randi