Hard Seasons

Hard seasons have their time. Sometimes they arrive and you see them coming. Those hard times are rare. More often than not they come out of nowhere. Like at 714am when the phone rings. Or 8am when the tech says have you been referred to a surgeon. Or at 2pm when the surgeon calls and says Ms. Bryant it is cancer. Hard seasons are handled differently with each of those calls and questions. The 714 call caused me to come completely unhinged. I made choices and did things I am not proud of in the name of being hurt and lost. Hurt and lost I was. Hurt I still am. Healing takes time. It also takes work. Work my 24 year old self could not have done. Work my almost 34 year old self is more than ready to begin doing. It is a journey I have been on for a couple of years now. When you get to a place where you know you are the one, the thing standing in your way, you start to make changes. At least I have. Setting boundaries. That has been my first step. It has been the hardest step for me. Putting me first in a healthy way feels very unhealthy and unnatural to me. Thus the hardest part right now. Accepting, not just realizing, but accepting that I cannot change another person. No matter the person, no matter the thing that I deem needs to change. I am the only one I can work on. The only thing I can do is love the people. That can be hard. People suck. People are selfish. People are rude. People are hurting so they hurt other people. But love them I most. It is how my blood flows through my veins. The desire to love people. I don’t like to make complaints, even in all the complaining about people sucking because I don’t want to get people in trouble. But I truly believe if we all just loved each other with the understanding that we don’t know everything the other person is walking through or dealing with and just love them in the moments we encounter them they entire world would turn ever that much smoother.

Just remember big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,
Randi

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