Exhausted 

I am exhausted. I mean tired in a way I am unsure there are words to describe. Going to activities that use to be a breeze takes all my abilities to accomplish. I am exhausted by the level of tired I stay at every day. I can be found in my chair at the end of the work. That is all that is left in me to do. 

The list of things that needs to be done that I just can’t do makes me sad. The list of things running through my mind that I just didn’t get to, due to lack of energy also makes me sad. There is even a list of things I want to do, that I cannot seem to will myself to accomplish. 

I know I am suppose to be kind and gracious with myself with all I’ve been going through. And it’s not that I’m not trying it’s just a reality of things I would like to be doing that I don’t have the energy or focus for. But I have determined that I will do the things I am able. So I made a new list. And I set some new goals. That my friends, that was what I needed. A perspective switch changed everything! 

Just remember big things, my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and love hard.  As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,

Randi 

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Honeymoon

When I married my husband 7 years ago there was no honeymoon. We, well I, was eight months pregnant and we didn’t have the financial means to go on any fancy trip. We have since spent the last seven years moving, learning, struggling, finding balance, getting settled and getting blindsided.

 2016 found us getting settled and finding balance. We had moved into a house that gave us room to relax. Room to explore. I found myself relaxing around mid-spring. As a family we started to adventure, spending weekends exploring and surrounding ourselves with people we love. In the fall the hubs and I decided our little family would be spending Christmas at the beach. Hotel was booked and the relaxing continued until December 19, 2016. 

All of that back story leads to last week. My mini human got to experience camp. She spend the week surrounded by other mini humans who are walking their own versions of the cancer journey. The lightness and clearing of her eyes was noticable and reassuring upon picking her up. 
The hubs and I were able to enjoy a staycation version of a late moon. The week was full of doctors appointments, good news, next phase planning and spontaneity. We enjoyed visiting a new restaurant, going to a PG-13 movie without having to find a babysitter and we to see Whisky & Chamomile and Blue’s Traveler in concert.  Spending the week just the two  of us, laughing and being together reminded us what we’ve been fighting for. 

During hard seasons when you are doing hard things you need these moments in order to get a chance to breath. 

Just remember big things, my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and love hard.  As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,