Residual

Hearing those words “It is cancer” is hard. Hearing the plan for treating said cancer is hard. Receiving treatment for cancer is hard. Chemotherapy is no walk in the park. These are statements of fact based on my experience. 

          Residual side efforts, three weeks post chemo, are strong. Chemo brain is in full effect…the forgetting is real. The pain I feel when doing simple, everyday tasks like washing dishes, has me to the point I can’t do them. Walking begins the day painful, yet manageable. Then comes evening and it is hard to walk to the bathroom. There is no exact timeline for any of the side effects to go away. These are the things I have the biggest struggle with…the cancer I can deal with. Upcoming surgery I have no problems with. I’m not even too nervous about radiation. But the side effects, that I have no control over, no guarantee when they will pass…those I have some struggles with me. The struggles have me looking like this some evenings. 

          

             At the beginning and end of each day I remind myself of all the things I have that are blessings to me. Another day to see the sky and spend with those that mean the most to me. The hubs and mini human a close second. Their complete health. The rest of my health. The strength to fight another day. Framily that stand with me has my pack. There is so very much that I am thankful for during this hard season, including this season itself. 

            Just remember big things, my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and love hard.  As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,

Randi

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Hard Seasons

Hard seasons have their time. Sometimes they arrive and you see them coming. Those hard times are rare. More often than not they come out of nowhere. Like at 714am when the phone rings. Or 8am when the tech says have you been referred to a surgeon. Or at 2pm when the surgeon calls and says Ms. Bryant it is cancer. Hard seasons are handled differently with each of those calls and questions. The 714 call caused me to come completely unhinged. I made choices and did things I am not proud of in the name of being hurt and lost. Hurt and lost I was. Hurt I still am. Healing takes time. It also takes work. Work my 24 year old self could not have done. Work my almost 34 year old self is more than ready to begin doing. It is a journey I have been on for a couple of years now. When you get to a place where you know you are the one, the thing standing in your way, you start to make changes. At least I have. Setting boundaries. That has been my first step. It has been the hardest step for me. Putting me first in a healthy way feels very unhealthy and unnatural to me. Thus the hardest part right now. Accepting, not just realizing, but accepting that I cannot change another person. No matter the person, no matter the thing that I deem needs to change. I am the only one I can work on. The only thing I can do is love the people. That can be hard. People suck. People are selfish. People are rude. People are hurting so they hurt other people. But love them I most. It is how my blood flows through my veins. The desire to love people. I don’t like to make complaints, even in all the complaining about people sucking because I don’t want to get people in trouble. But I truly believe if we all just loved each other with the understanding that we don’t know everything the other person is walking through or dealing with and just love them in the moments we encounter them they entire world would turn ever that much smoother.

Just remember big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,
Randi

Heart Hurt

Today my heart hurts. The hurt makes me sad. But I have decided to try a different approach…today I am thankful. I am thankful that my heart hurts because it means I had the opportunity to be close with someone. I had the opportunity to know and be known. I was afforded the opportunity to love and be loved in return. I had the opportunity to make memories, mistakes, to take chances and be vulnerable.

Once we get older it becomes harder to do any of those things. We don’t want to make mistakes and be seen a fool. We don’t take chances for fear of missing up. We are too often too “busy” to make memories because we trying so hard to “keep up appearances”.  Today I am going to try to take chances. I am going to take time to make a memory or two with my humans. I am going to tell my humans that I love them.

Because I don’t know if I will have another chance to make sure they know that I would go to the ends of the earth for them. I am not wake up tomorrow. I may not even make it to bedtime tonight. So I am going to take the moment I do have make sure they know I love them.

Nine years ago today my very best friend was taken off of the machines that were helping sustain her life. A week before that day she was involved in a horrible accident. My heart will never be the same. Her other humans will never be the same. Today I choose to remember the good times…all of the memories that were made before that fateful day. The carnival night. Too much sparkling grape juice. Six hours in Walmart. Joy riding through the county we loved. All of the memories that our friendship was built on.

Take time today friends to tell your humans how much they mean to your heart. Chose vulnerable or closed off. Hug someone a little tighter. Sit at the feet of Jesus and let Fight for the people you have neglected. Most of all love, completely, without expectations.

Just remember big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,
Randi

Morphed

That moment when you should be preparing for bed. Instead you begin a project that morphs into something completely different than what you set out to work on. While you are working on a morphed project it starts taking shape into so much more and better than the picture in your mind. This happened to me this week. Several nights in fact. I have the vision (and I still haven’t made it) for a piece that I want to create, so I sat down with my tools and materials. But as I was working something else happened…and it was awesome.
Creating, making, accomplishing and spending time at events meeting new people and talking about my process and jewelry is one of my top favorite things to do. Most times I get to also spend time with my family at these events which is great fun. This season has started off with a bang it is the beginning of May and we have already attended four…that’s right 4 events. It has been a great spring so far. Two events this month with a couple more in June.
I hope you are creating friends. I hope you are growing and trying new things. Testing your own limits. And busting through all those things people said you would never. If you don’t have anyone in your life telling you how amazing you are, let me tell you. YOU ARE AMAZING! Really you are! We can get through whatever season we are in with a little help and encouragement from our people. If you need people I’ll be your people!
We can do this together. We were created for relationship. Just remember big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,
Randi

Thankful

Greetings from the Workbench!
I have been making a lot of friendship bracelets lately. I think it is partly out of simplicity of being able to tote them around with me. I tend to tape them down to the desk and can work on them anywhere. I have been teaching myself some new patterns. I have even devoted a day each week to them on my facebook page. (facebook.com/createmickyann)
Friendship Fridays!, is a day each week to see the new pattern I’ve made for the week. As well as have a chance to win a BFF set. I think it is important to let my fans know I appreciate every single one of them.
On the topic of friendship I want to say Thank You! Throughout all of the chaos that has been my family’s last year, I have to say how thankful I am for my family and friends for their support. Wither they have helped us financially or physically helped us move, were willing to spend time with us in our sad, depressed emotional state. Every bit of it has been noticed and means more to us than you could ever know. We are not through the thick of it…But we will get there.
To each customer of MickyAnn’s I say Thank You! Thank you for believing in me, the product and small business owners. We have a long way to go, but with your support and belief MickyAnn will continue to grow. It has to. MickyAnn has to grow in order for me to see some of my other dreams come to be.
So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.
Big Love,
Randi

How and What…

Hi friends! I have been working on some mixed media leather cuffs. I thought you might want to hear about it.

I have been tying knots into friendship bracelets since the mid 1990s. That is when embroidery floss became my friend. Untangling skeins of floss always seems to settle my thoughts and emotions.

When I began the journey of MickyAnn I remembered something one of my aunts said when gifted with a friendship bracelet for her birthday. “I’ll wear it till it gets dirty and stinky.” That comment got my hamsters to racing. How many people would wear a friendship bracelet if they could take them off? (Incase you are not familiar with friendship bracelets;  “Originally, these colorful bands were invented by Indians in Central and South America. According to tradition, you tie a bracelet onto the wrist of a friend who may wish for something at that moment. The bracelet should be worn until it’s totally worn-out and falls off by itself, at which moment the wish is supposed to come true.” http://friendship-bracelets.net/learn.php) How can I make them with a grown-up twist?

So I started by using a button for the closure. (It does take the “make a wish” element out of the friendship bracelet…but then again it allows the love and gift to last much longer.) Then I began adding charms. But I did not want to stop there, so I began twisting wire and making rings. I was already using the wire to make bird’s nest charms for necklaces I knew there was other projects I could use the wire for.

As I think about what I want to make and how I want it to look, I realize I want to do everything. I want to make all kinds of beautiful rings, necklaces, charms, pendants and bracelets. This brings us back to the mixed media cuff. I bought some leather scraps a while back with the idea of making a cuff bracelet. Then has I looked at my stock of materials I decided, “What would be better than leather, embroidery floss, metal charms and buttons?” Well, you let me know what you think.

Big Love,

Randi

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