Low Key

I have celebrated big all along this journey. Hokey day just because I felt good. Trip to the beach when I finished the first round of chemo. A long trip to the beach when I completed Chemo all together. I was thrown a party just before I had a double mastectomy. 

Now here I am at the end of radiation. Done this intital leg of cancer. And I cannot think of any better way to celebrate than with my favorite two humans at our favorite restaurant. So low key it is. 

 Cancer will not defined me, but it won’t ever leave me alone. I will have more frequent doctors appointments then I did before. I will begin medication in two weeks that I will likely take the rest of my life. Some of my chemo side effects will be with me always. Those are just the realities. Cancer is a journey you don’t come back from the same. You don’t get to the end and move forward as if nothing happens. You and those closest to you, those that haven’t left your side, will be forever changed.

Just remember big things, my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and love hard.  As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,

Randi

Advertisements

Heart Hurt

Today my heart hurts. The hurt makes me sad. But I have decided to try a different approach…today I am thankful. I am thankful that my heart hurts because it means I had the opportunity to be close with someone. I had the opportunity to know and be known. I was afforded the opportunity to love and be loved in return. I had the opportunity to make memories, mistakes, to take chances and be vulnerable.

Once we get older it becomes harder to do any of those things. We don’t want to make mistakes and be seen a fool. We don’t take chances for fear of missing up. We are too often too “busy” to make memories because we trying so hard to “keep up appearances”.  Today I am going to try to take chances. I am going to take time to make a memory or two with my humans. I am going to tell my humans that I love them.

Because I don’t know if I will have another chance to make sure they know that I would go to the ends of the earth for them. I am not wake up tomorrow. I may not even make it to bedtime tonight. So I am going to take the moment I do have make sure they know I love them.

Nine years ago today my very best friend was taken off of the machines that were helping sustain her life. A week before that day she was involved in a horrible accident. My heart will never be the same. Her other humans will never be the same. Today I choose to remember the good times…all of the memories that were made before that fateful day. The carnival night. Too much sparkling grape juice. Six hours in Walmart. Joy riding through the county we loved. All of the memories that our friendship was built on.

Take time today friends to tell your humans how much they mean to your heart. Chose vulnerable or closed off. Hug someone a little tighter. Sit at the feet of Jesus and let Fight for the people you have neglected. Most of all love, completely, without expectations.

Just remember big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,
Randi

Disappointment and Delight

Disappointment is hanging over me like a cloud today. I did not expect to get accepted into that art show…but I was also really hoping I would. So when the email came in last night and it was a “you have not be chosen” letter it was a slam. It came on the heels of a not chosen email last week for an event I really thought I had a shot at.

Rejection, let’s call those emails what they are…rejections. Rejection cuts like a knife. When we expect it or try to prepare ourselves for it, we think when it comes in I’ll be fine. Then it comes and we are reminded we are not made of stone.  I know that I am not what they are looking for, or that one qualification is not quite met so I should know quickly that they don’t want me…just a few of the thoughts I tell myself to “prepare” for the rejection to come.  Then it comes in and BAM slammed. Because at our core we believe in fairy tales and wishes come true.

Maybe I am alone in this thought. I’m ok with that, but I wanted to let you know in case you are feeling alone in your rejections and “not chosen”ness, that I am right here with you. I spent two years looking for employment that met my needs and my family’s needs. Two years getting form rejection emails or no acknowledgement at all. Two years applying for jobs just to say I was putting in applications. Positions I could have done in my sleep. Yet, still the rejections came. I am working through the damage that was done. Because God loves me too much to leave me damaged. Working through it can be hard too. However, I am excited to see what is on the other side of this season. Until I get to the over side I am going to press in and get out of this season all that I can.

I have learned that getting the answer we want to the prayers we are praying does not always turn out how we picture them. I am learning that it is ok to not be ok. I am allowed to struggle with moments in my season. Some days are easier to walk through. Other days, like today, are harder. Is it just not getting a place at an art show for my small business…no there are other things on my mind. But I am going to tell this disappointment where it can go. I am going to read and reread this verse until it sinks deep into my soul and strengthens me…But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalms 1:2-3 NIV

That’s what I need today friends, to focus my delight, my mind, my heart back on the Lord. He has a plan that I cannot even imagine and so I am going to wait right here with my coffee.  He never leaves us, never forsakes us and never stops loving us. Even on days we are stuck in our feelings. He loves us too much to leave us there.

We can do this together. We were created for relationship. Just remember big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,                                                                                                                                                       Randi

Beginnings of 2016

Hi there and Hello Friends! I hope I find you well enjoying a big cup of your favorite pick me up beverage. Friends, I have not been at the bench in quite some time. I have been starting a new out of the house job. My pack and I have been moving. My mini cave-girl started kindergarten. The hubs started a new job. The last six months or so have been full of lots of new things for us. We are so excited about where 2016 is taking us. I hope 2016 is starting out wonderfully for you and your pack.

MickyAnn finished off the year well. We had several opportunities to participate in events ranging from outdoor concerts to church bazaars. I am really excited at some of the opportunities that await us. With our pack’s move I will be getting my own studio space. I cannot wait until it is all setup and ready for me to get back to the bench. I have so many ideas and just have not had the space or time to focus on making them happen.

I have so many thoughts running around my head. I am trying to decide which direction to take the blog in. I have been spending a lot of time searching scripture, listening for the Father’s voice and seeking to be challenged in every way He sees the need for a challenge. I want to share the thoughts of my heart with you. I pray they bless you.

One such thought is why are we so hard on ourselves? We believe untruths about ourselves, we talk ourselves into places that only make the hurt worse…we have been created to be amazing beings. We have purposes and talents and tasks to do that only we can do. That is such an encouraging thought for us. I had my mind blown on this thought. If I believe I was created for a purpose and I have been given a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)…Who am I not to seek out my tasks. I am prayerfully seeking out my task. I am so excited to see what happens as we journey forward.

First step is getting the studio all setup. Then get some of the pieces in my head out and made. All the while basking in time with my pack. We have more of that lately and it so wonderful!

So there it is my friends, my thoughts, my heart and maybe even a little rambling. Big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,

Randi

Ramblings

Hi there and Hello Friends! I hope I find you well enjoying a big cup of your favorite pick me up beverage. I am taking today’s blog in a bit of a different direction. I have been very inspective lately. I don’t say introspective because it has not all been internal. Yet, mostly it has. I want to share these thoughts of my heart with you. I pray they bless you.

Life: The actual plan never works out like the plan on paper. It does not always turn out like how your list looks. But that is ok.

Loss: When we feel hurt over losing someone it is because we allowed ourselves to love. We got close and let someone know us and we knew them. There are memories and stories, lessons learned. Losing isn’t fun no matter how the loss occurs, however I would rather “have loved and loss, then to never have loved at all.”

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

Love: The love you grow up with, the one you walk through the hard stuff with, the one that allows you grow into yourself is the very best love you can experience. Sometimes love breaks your heart…and that is ok. You will learn some great lessons from a broken heart.

Two are better than one,

Because they have a good return for

Their work:

If one falls down,

His friend can help up.

But pity the man who falls

And has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

Two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Family: They are going to teach some of the most important lessons. They are going to hurt deeper than you can even imagine. They will also be there for you when everyone else walks out.

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Proverbs 1:8

Friends: Sometimes you have to choose who your family is going to be. And sometimes those people do not share your DNA. There will be those that you think will never leave you and you will wake up one day and realize that time has pulled you in different directions.

The Lord bless you and keep you;

The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;

The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26

God: His promises are real. Every last one of them are real! He has never failed me, just like He promised…even when I walked away. Even when I told him I was done and turned my back, it was then He promised He would be right there waiting with open arms. And He was!

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 1 Thessalonians 3:3

Truth: Must be spoken in love. But it must be spoken. Telling people what you think they want to hear is not enough. They need to hear you speak the truth.

Reckless words pierce like a sword,

But the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

Therapy: Can work, if you do the work. You CANNOT just say you want things to be different. You have to make them different. Sitting on a couch and having someone telling how to change isn’t going to make it happen. You have to get up off the couch! No one can do it for you!

Dance: loves my very soul. I spent years being strengthened, healed and loved by this art form. Then I just walked away. I don’t know why now, but I know as I walk my mini human explore this form of expression I am reminded how much I love it.

Parenting: is NOT easy. It means I have to make a choice every day, sometimes every minute. It makes me feel like the biggest failure most days. Then there is this one moment every now and then that validates every times I have been consistent, was worth it. Being momma is the greatest honor I have ever been blessed with.

Jewelry: Wither I get to build a career out of making jewelry. Or it continues to be more like a hobby with occasional pieces ordered and bought, jewelry making has been an incredible learning experience for me. I love making rings, setting cabs, cutting jump rings and making chainmaille. I love the look on someone’s face when they open a piece of jewelry I have made has a gift. I love the lessons I have been able to teach my daughter through jewelry. I look forward to seeing where jewelry and I travel in the future.

So there it is my friends, my thoughts, my heart and maybe even a little rambling. Big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,

Randi

Feelings & Rays of Sunshine

Greetings!

I have been feeling lots of feelings lately. The last few weeks always bring back memories of loss, heartbreak and missing. Whenever you come to an anniversary of losing someone who holds a special place in your heart it, well at least for me, hurts all over again, fresh and new. I spend my winter months looking forward to and planning all these grand adventures…then summer arrives and I am hit with dates on the calendar that break my heart all over again. Now I want to say that the missing and brokenness occurs all year round. But there is something fresh about the specific dates on the calendar.

Why I am I sharing this on my blog that is mostly, always been about my arting? Well because it is fresh. Because everyone hurts and needs to be encouraged. Because my feelings effect my arting. I want to be honest with you. After all, we are journeying together. I have been walking in a lot of defeat. I do not sell as much jewelry or even has often as I would like. There are more aspects of my life, than I think I even admit to myself, that are not where I would like them to be. I am making a change today! Why today? Well, because it is the day that is happening. I will be looking for the blessings, the good, the moments that are worth dwelling on, instead of walking in defeat.

If you have been walking through a crisis, struggling with the way things are, I want to encourage to look today for a ray…one single ray of sunshine. Here is mine; though not ideal (I’m being honest remember), my family has a roof over our heads. There is quite a story behind needing to see it has a ray of sunshine…but is true. Though I was at work while they slept, my humans got to sleep in beds with a roof over their heads, for that I am thankful and blessed!

Big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,

Randi

PS: I have a sale going on over at my facebook page…CHECK IT OUT! Just a couple days left! https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.776775992441197.1073741855.443799925738807&type=3

Journies: Old & New

Greetings Friends!

This past week is ending full of feelings of calm, peace, mixed with just a little nervousness. I have been preparing for a vendor event coming this coming Saturday June 27, 2015 at Glen Maury Park Buena Vista, Virginia. This event is very near and dear to my heart because it is a Rock’ N 4 Autism event to raise funds and awareness for Blue Ridge Autism & Achievement Center Buena Vista satellite school. I am excited to spend the day in Buena Vista listening to music, hanging out with my jewelry and being a part of this great event. Keep up with information for the event here: https://www.facebook.com/rockn4autismva.

This week has also brought with it the decision to begin the journey of consulting with Usborne Books & More. Literacy is of great importance to me. I hold a career certificate in early childhood development. One of my beliefs about development is that literacy begins in infancy. Usborne’s stance on literacy is one of the many reasons that Usborne appeals to me so much. I have 11 weeks to meet some goals, to get this journey started. Here is my website: http://j4729.myubam.com/. Check out our products and let me know if you are interested in having a facebook party or if you are local we can have a home party. I look forward to hearing from you!

Big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love, Randi