It’s Called Hard Love 

Friends, 

We say things, i.e. “How are you doing”, “If you need anything, don’t heisitate to ask”, “Let me know if there is anything I can do”, “If you need someone to get your mini human and give her a playdate for the day, let me know”. Often times with the belief that we have to say something. I am learning that sometimes it is better to say nothing, rather than say something that…

1. You don’t really mean.                               2.You have no desire to follow through on. 3. You think is expected of you to say.           4. You are saying out of the need to say something, but haven’t thought through and therefore is hurtful or insensitive.

I can say from experience I would much rather a person say nothing than say something they don’t​ mean and won’t follow through on. It’s terribly hurtful and lonely to find yourself in need and no one is there to help meet that need. To look up when you have fallen and weak only to find no one standing there to help you up. Its not always easy to say you need help. 

Sometimes it’s easier to just push through the thing, whatever it is (in my current journey emense pain from the chemo med), than say I need this or that. Pushing through could be easier for many reasons​. Being let down is the biggest for me. Offers forgotten. Needs overlooked. Neglect and abandonment felt. Then there is just the simple fact that sometimes, other things  need the attention more immediately than taking the time to beg for help. God has not let me down once. He strengthens me when I feel weak. God truly is all that I need.

 My heart hurts because I believe we were created for companionship, for fellowship, to journey alongside one another. And not just when times are good and worth celebrating, but when times suck and we need reminding to push on and press into the Father. That’s called Hard Love. 

Just remember big things, my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and love hard.  As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,

Randi

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During hard seasons you have to remember to take time to breathe. We get so caught up in the motions of the new normal that we don’t recognize that our breathing has changed. So when we do realize our breathing has changed,  we look to the things that sooth our souls. The very things that calm our breath to renew our strength. It has to be the things that work for us has individuals. 

My things are making jewelry…Which I cannot do right now, music… Listening to all the music (see the last post for specifics), and the beach! Just listening to the waves and watching them break. Smelling the salt in the air resets my soul. I feel a strength wash over me. So to the beach we went on March 10-12. I needed to have my soul reset. Praise the Lord for reset buttons. And new mercies each morning. 

I received another reset button this past week when my oncologist held my treatment after I went to the ER with a fever over the weekend. I spent the week able to make jewelry. I worked on new designs that had been playing around in my head. I did not feel the pain I had for the previous two weeks. I started to feel almost normal again. Then today was treatment day. And so the journey continues! 

Just remember big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Randi

Heart Hurt

Today my heart hurts. The hurt makes me sad. But I have decided to try a different approach…today I am thankful. I am thankful that my heart hurts because it means I had the opportunity to be close with someone. I had the opportunity to know and be known. I was afforded the opportunity to love and be loved in return. I had the opportunity to make memories, mistakes, to take chances and be vulnerable.

Once we get older it becomes harder to do any of those things. We don’t want to make mistakes and be seen a fool. We don’t take chances for fear of missing up. We are too often too “busy” to make memories because we trying so hard to “keep up appearances”.  Today I am going to try to take chances. I am going to take time to make a memory or two with my humans. I am going to tell my humans that I love them.

Because I don’t know if I will have another chance to make sure they know that I would go to the ends of the earth for them. I am not wake up tomorrow. I may not even make it to bedtime tonight. So I am going to take the moment I do have make sure they know I love them.

Nine years ago today my very best friend was taken off of the machines that were helping sustain her life. A week before that day she was involved in a horrible accident. My heart will never be the same. Her other humans will never be the same. Today I choose to remember the good times…all of the memories that were made before that fateful day. The carnival night. Too much sparkling grape juice. Six hours in Walmart. Joy riding through the county we loved. All of the memories that our friendship was built on.

Take time today friends to tell your humans how much they mean to your heart. Chose vulnerable or closed off. Hug someone a little tighter. Sit at the feet of Jesus and let Fight for the people you have neglected. Most of all love, completely, without expectations.

Just remember big things my friends! Big things are coming! So until next we meet at the workbench…keep creating, enjoy your moments and keep your chin up. As always thank you for stopping by and for being on this journey with me.

Big Love,
Randi

Things I’ve Learned…

Hi Friends! Thank you once again for stopping by.

I have been learning a lot since beginning this blog. So I thought I would share a few of those lessons with you. Learning is such an important part of any journey. I have learned over the years that if you do not learn the lesson the first time, it will likely come back to visit you to ensure that you caught on. I am trying to catch on a little quicker these days. In learning all of these lessons lately I am reminded of something my paternal grandfather used to say quite often, “If you don’t learn something new today, the day is lost.” Friends, here is what I have been learning over the last several days.

  1. Thicker gauge wire is not a bad thing. Ha Ha I began taking a jewelry class two weeks ago and had never purchased anything smaller than a 24       gauge or larger than a 20 gauge wire. I realize now that the vision I have in my brain space and the outcome I am going to get with wire I have been buying is not going to match. 14 gauge it is folks!
  2. Pewter charms as far I can tell cannot be altered from the state in which you purchase them at the store. That really great mixed media bracelet I shared with you all in my last post (http://wp.me/4hctG) is broken. I attempted to ever so slightly bend the flower charm with a rawhide mallet against a wooden stomp. Hitting ever so lightly in order to achieve a slight bend because there simply was not even give in the charm for the leather to lay quite right against the arm. So now the charm is in two pieces. Still looking for a way to alter pewter charms purchased at a craft stores…that is the second one broken since the journey began.
  3.  Hard hard wire is not easily bent. I have a sore index finger, hand pad and thumb to prove this. Other than the low cost I cannot really tell you what made me purchase hard hard wire but alas I did and I have spent the last two days bending an entire spool into would be rings. Hard Hard Wire is hard my friends.
  4. I am completely in love with bending, hammering, forging and designing jewelry. I have many skills I look forward to learning but I am completely in a peaceful love with my round nose pilers and a spool of wire.

Friends I cannot tell you where this journey will lead us. All I can say that for this moment I am content, peaceful and in love with my moment. Each day is different. Bedtime is challenging with my favorite little mini cave-girl. And there is far too often more month left over at the end of the money. However, I would not trade any of the journey I have taken to get to this moment for anything in this world. Stay adventurous and don’t lose your days friends.

Big Love,

Randi